Silent nights like this and knowing that my loved ones are sleeping peacefully make me emotional. Very emotional that I could not stop my tears from brimming in my eyelids. I can feel them now, ready to fall, and I'm not stopping them. They say that tears can literally clean your eyes and soothing for your soul, provided they voluntarily and willingly fall.
I now begin to ask myself why. I feel blessed and I'm truly happy. That's what the tears are all about. I happily blame the spirit of wellness of the holiday season.
I'm happy that my parents are supportive of me all along and even happier that they are both in good health. There were times in the past that I'd bargain with God my share of happiness and success in exchange of my parents' good health. I just couldn't afford to see them sick. It breaks my heart whenever I see my father tired from field work or my mother complaining of her migraine. God knows that, and I'm grateful that He hears this unselfish prayer.
I'm happy that I get to spend time with my siblings, despite our mood swings. We have always been like that way back our younger years. My two younger brothers (one of them is now married) are my loyal allies ever since the three of us outgrew childhood. My youngest brother though is the moody of us all. Back when all my demands/rules were followed by my two younger brothers, my youngest brother represents the axis powers. I never understood the concept that the youngest should be treated well, loved well and that we should all give in to his whims and caprices. Long before he (the youngest brother) came, I felt I was the center of attention. I was the only girl then, and I'm the most behaved one among the pack. And then the only sister was born, and I really felt my entire world was then turned upside down. She's the little princess, and we're at her mercy. When she cries in our arms during her baby days, it will be our fault. Hahaha!
I'm happy that I have a boyfriend whose major goals match with mine. Just when I almost got tired of searching for a partner and at the brink of giving up, God gave him to me. All in all, he's my incentive.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
I acknowledge what and who I have and I thank God for that.
I think of the pointless war in Iraq and the millions of lives lost and affected by it, I think of the poverty in this country and the poor people who suffer because of corrupt politicians, I think of the families affected by recent calamities, natural and man-made, I think of those who no longer have the chance to experience pain and happiness and suffering and joy. When I think of these, I realize I'm truly blessed and my own petty worries do not even measure up to the problems of those who literally live in pain and sorrow every day of their lives.
I'll sleep now.