Sunday, December 27, 2009

Missing Someone

I terribly miss him. I really do. We have never been physically away from each other for more than two days. It's almost four days that I haven't seen him, and yet it feels like a century. I am not exagerrating. It really is.

I terribly miss him. And it's getting difficult as days go by. Difficult beyond words. Maybe the holiday season's the culprit. Cool December air. Mushy songs in my playlist. Facebook. Friends asking me how things are... and, voila! The bottomline, where is he? Why are you not together this Christmas? Blah-blah. I'm tired of answering questions, or maybe, I'm plainly lazy to type classic replies. I don't know. I miss him. That's the hard fact.

I'll bet my half-month's salary if all the singles out there will not say that I'm luckier than them. I tried jogging my memory of my single days, and all I could remember is that the feeling of loneliness is almost the same, whether you're single or in a relationship. Looking back to my single days, I was then hoping that Mr. Right would come and will totally sweep me off my feet. Oh yes, blame the romance novels I have read through the years. And now that I'm in a relationship, I still feel lonely when we don't see each other for, say, two days. SMS and calls are no help at all. The least they could do is to somehow lessen the feeling of being lonely. I miss him. Now I'm rambling.

A part of me is happy for him.  He's with his family. When he's happy, I'm happy too. Okay, now I admit. Maybe I'm too selfish. I want him all to myself. I'm screwed if I continue harboring this selfishness. Maybe too much attachment makes me selfish. But I do know that attachment may soon become an issue. I have to detach myself from him, little by little. He needs to grow, and I do too.

I'm really a mushball. Maybe this is just an upshot of reading a love story yesterday. James Patterson's novel Sam's Letters to Jennifer still haunts me until now. Brendan's advice to Jennifer is to enjoy life, share and enjoy things with your special someone "everyday from the crack of dawn until we can't keep our eyes open one second longer."

More ramblings. I could go on rambling till the sun shines, but I'd better stop. My point is crystal-clear: I MISS HIM.

I terribly miss him. It's like an illness that should be treated, otherwise... God only knows what.  The only cure is to see him SOON.

1 comment:

Bigger Than My Body said...

Na miss din naman kita. Tsaka pag nandyan ako sa'yo gusto mo wala ako kasi hindi ka makag facebook. Hindi ka makapag blog. (Bumalik po ako nung 30, in time for the New Year)