Monday, December 7, 2009

To take or not to take?

To take or not to take?

That's my major dilemma these days.

The big quiz is constantly on my mind and it really bugs me that I have to take it again.

I've endured five years in the Institute of Geek and Gossipers. Grueling book-world. Oh well, not so grueling some times. It's actually a choice. You're given a choice whether or not you'll take book-world seriously or lightly. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you learned something and you have to shove it off right to the deep caverns of your brain. Whatever.

Looking back, I burned a few bottles of midnight oil (whatever) to be able to get that much-coveted piece of paper called diploma. That precious paper will then serve as your passport to take the long quiz.

Long quiz is the focal point in every Elle Woods wannabe's life. Or if you're damn serious, you'd get to enter the world of the likes of Jose Diokno, Ferdinand Marcos, Miriam Defensor Santiago, the Fortun brothers, Katrina Legarda, blah-blah.. and the list goes on.

Again, to take or not to take?

It's a question of preparedness.

Am I prepared physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and above all, intellectualy? These are just the usual considerations in taking the long quiz.

It's a tall order.

It's definitely not a walk in the park. Not at all.

It's downright serious.

You can't just wake up one day and face the mirror and say, "Hey, I'm gonna take the long quiz!" It's not that.

In the heart of my hearts, I hope it's that easy but unfortunately it's not. It takes a deep reflection and an honest assessment of your qualities.

Do I possess the characteristics of a warrior? Hey, it's a battle. A great mental battle. Hence, I consider myself as a warrior.

Honestly, there's really no telling whether one is fully prepared to take the battle. I've seen lots of seemingly fully prepared warriors who took the battle and they lost, sad to say. For some, it's a bloody loss. It depends.

I honestly don't know.

I have to wait for a sign.

I have to prepare myself.

I have to want it seriously. WANT. Not LIKE.

It's a long way ahead, but time flies fast.

Preparation is one major key. And I can seriously say, I am not prepared. I thought I was prepared back then, but I was damn wrong.

Psyching yourself with false ideas of preparedness is similar to cheating.

I cheated myself by making my very own self believe that I was prepared. I won't do that to myself again. Never in a million years. I have to be really prepared in all aspects.

To take or not to take?

I'll take a few contemplative moments first before I decide. It wouldn't hurt to do just that, right? I hope not.


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