I should have never set my iPod in shuffle. With shuffle mode, I'm the unwilling servant of my yesteryears. Songs that I uploaded out of boredom, songs that remind me of my teen-dom, and the pains of first love and then love after that, songs that remind me of the stage where I wallowed in pain and other emotions worthy of memory space. You got it. My iPod literally represents my life in various rhythms, high and low notes.
Then one song stuck my to mind, rendered me motionless for a moment, and then the what-ifs played in my mind. That song. That one particular song. Out of 1,595 songs in my iPod, this song was played. Fat luck. It brought me to that one particular day of my life in a very historical town (present status: city) in the north, circa 2001. The hot summer breeze, the sound of rustling dried leaves on the front yard, the deafening silence of the house and the smell of the fabric conditioner from the clothesline. And myself. The heartbroken version of my young self: sniffling from the fact that she remembers too much of the pains of first love, entertaining thoughts of what-ifs and reenacting in front of the mirror her farewell lines in case she'd be swept into a time machine and land in year 1996.
Now, I'd think twice in hitting shuffle again unless I want to go emo randomly.
Wonder what the song is? Brace yourself. It's a classic. Here it is.
Anna Fegi's Saan Ka Na Kaya Ngayon?